Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Ermagherd Skewl

So, as you are probably aware if you happen to have children or happen to be a child (or “young adult” if you are offended with the term “child”), most schools opened for the new school year today.

And just for the record: no, those screams of anguish you heard last night were not mine – you must have a ghost problem.

Much to the delight of my teachers, I arrived at the much dreaded “First Day” with a surly attitude from lack of sleep, a head of hair that absolutely refused to stay put in its French braid, a skirt that was way above the minimum length of four fingers above the knee (I grew again during the holidays…) and only about half of my textbooks because – once again – the book shops ran out of the exact books that I needed. But luckily, I brought with me the promise of proactivity, confidence, and a good relationship with my peers… that lasted for about thirty seconds because of the shrill wailings of, “Ohmygod [insert name here] I, like, legitimately haven’t seen you in literally for EVERRR!” and the fact that there was a spider about the size of my open hand sitting on the far wall.

Not a good way to start the year.

The day progressed as various different teachers explained to us exactly why this year was so incredibly CRUCIALLY important for our futures, because – believe it or not – universities count your second and third term marks of eleventh grade when deciding whether you are fabulous enough to be accepted into their majestic campuses. If I wasn’t freaked out about my future yet, that was the point where I went flat out panic attack on everybody.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t hate school. It’s just the difficulty of waking up early to a school uniform and a day of learning with people who think Charles Dickens came up with the theory of evolution that wears me out. Immensely. It’s not so bad that by now everybody is (sort of) taking the subjects they’re passionate about, rather than a decidedly disastrous mixture of Home Economics and Accounting that almost drove me batty during the first two years of high school. But who really wants to sit in a Physics classroom learning about forces when the only force you really want to be thinking about is the exertion of a normal force and a gravitational force on your body as you lie in bed (because you only had two hours of sleep the night before – the Book of Teenager-ness decrees that all teenagers shall spend all of their free time on social networking sites until the early hours of the morning).

I guess what I’m basically trying to say is this: school is hard, the future stresses me out, and please can I get a job as a full-time procrastinator, because it seems that the only thing I’m good at these days is not doing what I’m supposed to be doing (demonstrated fantastically by the fact that I am blogging now instead of reading my AP English set work novel).

Oh yeah – also just a heads up that if I don’t blog or review something for a week or two weeks or however long, it means that I’m panicking about The Future, and am probably spending all of my time studying – or curled up in a fetus position on my floor crying about the fact that I only have a year and a half until I actually have to do something with my life. (But that’s what you get for joking about your future instead of actually planning for it… oh the irony…)

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